A great florist, the contagious joy of other's people's style, and a discussion of crows
plus marbled terracotta planters and tiny notepads
Spring exploded this week - the chicks hatched in my son's 1st-grade class; the daffodils are out in force; it's parent-teacher conference season. My oldest is a day student at a boarding school; the last few days have been chock-a-block with Parents' Weekend events and meetings. As we emerged from puffer coat season and walked from class to class with Alex in a sea of other parents and teenagers, I was reminded of how much I love the serendipity and pageantry of all the ways people put outfits together. The joy of other people's style is contagious.
As an introverted lover of the power of small talk, one way to overcome my natural reticence and shyness is to ask about details of a stranger's outfit, which sometimes leads to deeper conversations about why someone was drawn to a piece of clothing, where they were when they bought it; who gave it to them; if they made it, what it reminds them of. One of the things I miss most about living in NYC is street style, the symphony of styles, and the sense that you are both an audience member and performer every time you step outside.
I love seeing color combinations, plays on texture, and tiny details. Today, I passed a woman in a blue blazer carrying a butter-yellow handbag against crisp dark jeans and grey loafers. Another woman in her sixties wore all black; I'd been talking to her for a few minutes before I noticed the tinsel in her hair. Style is personal; getting dressed is a creative outlet at its best and most pleasurable. I never drink my fill of it.
A. I first noticed this neon sweater on a chic stranger at a lacrosse game; eventually, I realized she was cheering for the same team as me (lol!). Once we got to talking, I told her I loved her sweater, and she shared that it was from American Vintage.
B. My favorite compliment to give (or receive) is "I like your outfit." In my son's Spanish class yesterday, a lovely mom commented on "how happy" my Emoji Socks were. That moment of recognition - that someone else is listening to the fashion language you're speaking - is profoundly pleasurable; what a gift to feel (even momentarily) seen.
C. On Monday, Ben, Tim, and I went to NYC for the day. I spotted this perfect trench coat on a sleek commuter in the line getting off the train ahead of me. She never even saw me.
D. This customizable tote charmed me.
E. I saw a friend in these mismatched Nikes last week. She always combines pieces and textures in such creative ways. I texted her to get the link for all of you and realized I had never told her how much I appreciated her style, so I did!
F. These terracotta planters got a marbled upgrade! I think this could be done pretty easily as a DIY. My mother has a marbling studio and sells at her local farmer's market. She's coming to visit for a few weeks this summer. Maybe we'll experiment with making our own!
G. I'm not suggesting any of us purchase these quirky JW Anderson animal clutches ($$$$), but the playfulness delights me.
H. I bought these tiny notepads during a speed run through McNally Jackson.
I. While there, the History of the World in 100 Objects winked at me, so I grabbed it for the train ride home (and was entranced). Today, in my office, I discovered that I had purchased a copy a year ago - but never cracked it open! Doh! I hadn't realized that the book came out of the BBC podcast. I downloaded and started listening tonight on the way to the grocery store.
J. A friend in my writing group has been encouraging me to write "flash" fiction (anything under 1,000 words). I've written non-fiction, poetry, and a novel but have struggled with short fiction - like I just draw a total blank. When I saw this Writing Down The Bones deck - I thought of my friend's advice and figured it couldn't hurt to try - that a tangible prompt (the cards are not specific to fiction) and a visual reminder on my desk to make time to write fiction might help. I've only used a few of the cards, but I feel it's worth recommending to anyone who might be stuck with their writing.
K. I sent a friend these Ode To La Rose tulips this past week, and holy moly, have they thought of every detail—the box the flowers arrive in, the envelope and card, the flowers themselves. This is the kind of attention to detail that feels increasingly rare in our world. They ship nationwide and hand deliver in NYC, Chicago, Los Angeles, Austin, Miami, and Washington, DC. Perfect for Mother's Day!
For many of my childhood summers, a group of parents organized a co-op camp at my elementary school. Each parent taught a class—video production, theatre, ceramics, and soccer are the ones I remember—and collectively, everyone's kids were kept busy.
A tall, imposing woman with a definitive witchy feel organized daily nature walks in the afternoons after lunch. I remember them as hot and dusty and something I undertook under a fair amount of duress.
One afternoon, after we'd trooped to the top of the hill behind the school, she sat us down in a field and announced we would find our spirit animals. I remember my friends and I exchanging looks—spirit animal! How thrilling and unexpected. Each child took a turn and pulled a card from a beautifully illustrated deck—one friend pulled a fox with luminous orange fur, and another boy pulled a sleek gray wolf. I'd never considered that I might have a spirit animal, and if I did, what that animal might be. Eventually, it was my turn. The deck was heavier than I expected. I drew a card and turned it over - a crow - and felt a thrill of recognition - the crow looked powerful. The witch tilted her head (in a decidedly crow-like way) and considered me for a moment, assessing. She nodded once and said, "That fits.”
In the funny way that sometimes unexpected moments stay with you for a long time, ever since that hot afternoon, I have always loved crows. And why wouldn't I? The Counting Crows song A Murder of One, which came out a year or two afterward, has long had me counting the birds I pass on country roads, college quads, and walking to summer jobs: One is for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy, Five for silver, Six for gold. And, yes, I'm playing that song while I write this. 😂
This week, I listened to this NPR piece on crows that can do geometry, and it reminded me of an excellent long read, The Crow Whisperer, from Harper's Magazine a few years ago, which I highly recommend. The article can only be described as a rollicking read, about an aging punk rocker "crow whisperer" who helps a couple in Oakland, California, when they are terrorized by a murder of crows.
But biologists … tend to believe that we vastly underestimate animal intelligence and the intricacy of their emotional worlds. Animals can cry and joke; they can hold celebrations and burials; they feel jealousy and monogamous love. Many animals understand justice and unfairness (a baboon will be happy with lettuce for a reward until he sees that his friend has been given grapes, a far tastier prize). A trendsetting Zimbabwean chimpanzee named Julie once decorated her ear with a blade of grass, and fellow chimps adopted the fashion as though she were a middle school It Girl. Bowerbirds, meanwhile, adorn their homes with attractive objects in order to entice a mate, painting rocks with berry juice to make them more beautiful. Dolphins call one another by name, while chickadees and prairie dogs form complex words using a kind of additive grammar. Crows recognize the particular proclivities of their beloveds, and, as I now know, seek retribution for perceived harm.
I learned a lot from this article about animal intelligence and how animals and humans coexist and do not coexist easily. I hope you’ll enjoy it.
PS If you’d like to discover your spirit animal, I’d suggest The Wild Unknown’s Spirit Animal Deck. As long-time readers know, one of the few things I collect is decks of cards - the illustrations here are stunning. And, even if you are not interested in spirit animals, I still highly recommend the deck as a beautiful, creative object. Ben and I love to play the classic card game 'war’ with this deck (a fish beats a frog, a dragon egg beats a wolf, a spider beats an elephant, and on and on), which is a small reminder of all the ways play can enrich our lives.
I am insatiably curious; I love shiny things; I’m protective of my family and friends; and I’ve been known to hold a grudge (this poster made me laugh! as did this card!) I couldn’t do better than a crow for my spirit animal.
A new favorite newsletter is Hey Mrs. Solomon On Style, who writes about style with verve and joy. If you found yourself nodding about the contagious power of style, I suspect you will enjoy Rachel's writing (if you don't already!). A few weeks ago, she posted about pins and all the ways to experiment with wearing them. Which made the crow in me perk up in a major way!
For this installment of Dopamine Hits, I went down a deep rabbit hole that my crow would love: all kinds of shiny flair.
I hope you found this newsletter interesting! If you enjoyed it, consider clicking the ❤️ button — it really does help other like-minded readers discover my writing (oh, algorithms!). And, if you’re feeling chatty, know that it is a true joy to read your comments - they make me feel less like I’m just typing into the glowing void of my laptop screen and more like I’m having a conversation with you. Let me know what you think your spirit animal might be!?
I often have a few finds that don't fit into the main image (my favorite part of the newsletter to create and the hardest to get 'right') or the overall flow. I put a few bonus finds here for subscribers as a tiny thank-you. Due to layers of Substack beyond my control - it appears that when I set this section as Paid it means only paid subscribers can leave comments. I still haven’t figured this feature out - still removing the paywall while I correspond with Substack to figure out how to resolve.
This Bud Vase pin would make me happy just running around town.
I’ve been lusting after this combo whiteboard / bulletin board from IKEA. Think how organized we could be! 😂
A friend gave me this huge neon notepad for my birthday - it makes me happy every day!
1. I have a tiny stegosaurus purse that I pair with things like my very serious professional person vintage black velvet blazer, so yeah, I would probably be down to carry a startling animal purse.
2. I have a child with a special affinity for crows. We had crow nests in our backyard tree, and said child would have cawed conversations with the crow family before he could speak human with us. I've always thought it was magic.
If you and your mom try out the marbling technique on terra cotta pots this summer, please post a tutorial! Also, I am fascinated by the behaviors and intelligence of crows and hope to befriend one someday.