A thought-provoking article, a sexy TV show, and the prettiest earrings

plus tiny candles and an unexpected winter survival tool

It's February! We made it! January felt 100 days long and a year wide. I'm sitting in the car as I type this, shaking off a sense of déjà vu at the feeling of the laptop wedged between the steering wheel and my lap. I spent many hours in this exact position during the pandemic - working out of my car while I waited for Ben to finish his morning "2s" program. That period taught me to write anywhere, in the tiniest slivers of time available, like now, in between checking on Ben's hearing (he had tubes put in last year) and following up on some unusual blood work (related to a tick bite). A younger me would have been impatient and annoyed, but this version of me just feels grateful for a quiet moment to string a few sentences together. We ended the visit with good news: no autoimmune disease, though we'll need some more hearing follow-ups.

What I Read & Watched

I haven't been able to stop thinking about (or talking about) Derek Thompson's article, “The Anti-Social Century” (gift link, updated and should be working!), in this month's The Atlantic. While it took me a couple of weeks to finish reading it (life in slivers of time!), this deeply reported piece rewards careful attention. Thompson makes the case that what we perceive as our individual preference for solitude is, in fact, cultural - nothing less than a fundamental rewiring of America. This answers questions I had been wrestling with, from explaining the recent election to helping me understand why Tim and I (two people who LOVE to host parties) just haven't been entertaining at all since COVID. The article also sheds light on why our teenager and his friends seem to make plans far less frequently than we did at their age (spoiler alert: yes, it's the phones, but there are far fewer places for teens to go these days).

This quote particularly resonated with me:

A seemingly straightforward prescription is that teenagers should choose to spend less time on their phone, and their parents should choose to invite more friends over for dinner. But in a way, these are collective-action problems. A teenager is more likely to get out of the house if his classmates have already made a habit of hanging out. That teen’s parents are more likely to host if their neighbors have also made a habit of weekly gatherings. There is a word for such deeply etched communal habits: rituals. And one reason, perhaps, that the decline of socializing has synchronized with the decline of religion is that nothing has proved as adept at inscribing ritual into our calendars as faith.

Bottom Line: We are in a time that is calling out for collective action. And this one feels doable: I've already invited three friends over for coffee as a baby step to more frequent entertaining and what it really underpins: connections and community. What I had seen as my own failing and as a result of my introversion is, in fact, part of a much larger (and scarier!) trend. If you've read the article, let me know what you think, and if you're moved - join me in taking collective action that strengthens community, one text of "Hey, want to come over for pasta and a glass of wine?" at a time.

TV: After all that serious reading, let me tell you about Rivals on Hulu - it's a delightfully frothy "80s bubble bath for your mind" that we binged this week. Don't let all of the soapy scenes (there are a lot of shirtless men (and their butts!)) fool you: beneath the raunchy drama lies a smart, well-written show that tackles some deep themes.

Design Notes

A. I have a passion for dendritic agate stones (check out these earrings and this pendant), and this, in turn, led me to my love of mochaware ceramics. First made in England in the 1780s, this style was cheap and utilitarian and named for its resemblance to agate. My pen holder, from Keeping Choosing in the UK, satisfies both obsessions.

B. Speaking of patterns that stop me in my tracks - I gasped when I saw Kate Hawkins' "Cat's Eye Border" wallpaper at CommonRoom. Imagine transforming kitchen cabinets, a tired wardrobe, or even a notebook with this paper trim!

C., D., & E. February birthdays (both Ben's and mine!) have me thinking about candles: these charming tulip holders, these tiny raspberry beeswax candles I bought for our cakes, and these clever wish cards with built-in candle and match.

F. Ever since Grace Atwood posted this vintage Swatch with its malachite pattern, I’ve been on the prowl for one of my own. Once, at a mid-town watch dealer, I saw a Malachite Rolex that took my breath away, and this Swatch is more in my price range. I haven’t found one yet, but I love a nothing more than a saved eBay search and the pleasure of a long hunt. NB: This is a trusted site if you’re in the market for a fancy watch!

Found Objects & Kitchen Notes

G. If I've survived this winter so far, credit goes to an unlikely hero: my headlamp. Country life involves a lot of driving, and winter means coming home in pitch-black darkness. With no street lamps and our house set far from the driveway, unloading groceries felt like stepping into pre-industrial times - until I started carrying a headlamp in my bag. The other night, our UPS driver Steve and I shared a laugh as we crossed paths, both wearing our headlamps like modern-day explorers. Well met, Steve, well met!

H. These stone bath mats (link updated!) were a find around the holidays, and I just bought a second one. They are low profile, don't get stinky or bunch up (the bunching up irritated my design eye so deeply), and most importantly, they quickly absorb all the water a 6-year-old can drip.

I. A lovely full-circle moment: my friend Wendy, a long-time commenter from my old blog who recently reconnected here, recommended The Art of Play website. It's a delightful rabbit hole of playing cards (which she knew I'd love) and beautiful objects like this Wonderscape sand tray.

In the kitchen, I’ve been cooking this roasted vegetable and goat cheese pasta on the regular! I roast a double batch of the zucchini and tomatoes and save the second batch for an even faster weeknight dinner. Also, I’ve reached a point in my life where if a recipe calls for half a shallot or half an onion, I just use the whole thing.

I'll leave you with today’s Daily Dose of Green, a photo I took recently with my youngest. Like those quiet moments in the car between appointments, sometimes the simplest things can ground us in unexpected ways.

Daily Dose of Green

Each morning, I share a single image of nature - a landscape painting or photograph - delivered quietly to your inbox. Think of it as a moment of visual meditation before your day begins. No commentary, no analysis - just space to pause and observe.